Latest posts with tag: "3ds"

  • Crimson Shroud is a guy on a porch whittling a stick

    Written by ,
    Maybe it's cause of the kind of person I am—and I'm not saying I am necessarily a whimpering, masochistic weakling who craves being witness to the expert display of the skills and talents of others—but I have always kind of been entranced by storytellers. People who create works for others to experience. But also maybe expert tour-guides? Sketch artists? People with plans, masters of their crafts, no matter how small they are. Sometimes there's this guy down the row who hand-grinds coffee, I just freeze in my seat and listen to it and I feel kinda chills or something, I love it. People stamping their little seals on books in rhythm, librarians? I just sit there and listen, I am like, boy I sure hope you don't run out of books. Is this outta line here? I guess we all kind of slip into our own unexpected fantasy trances from time to time.

    Inline Image

    On the subject! It's really hard for me to totally sell myself to fantasy worlds these days, to really let myself go. Part of it is because I try to write, myself, and I can't help but see "the construct" whenever I'm playing a game, reading a story, watching a movie. These things feel different to me than they must feel to others—I very rarely am able to get underneath and feel that Human Part, that exhibition of skill pandering to me, taking me by the hand and saying, come take a look at this. I cannot often sense The Creator behind it. Which is why this 3DS game Crimson Shroud has surprised me pretty good.
  • Liberation Maiden is like Rez with no music and a president of Japan who is a sexy girl that pilots a huge gun robot

    Written by ,
    Despite the gaming riches now available to me in this modern era, last week I spent a couple hours playing through the Sega Genesis version of Aladdin in its entirety and then for essentially no reason at all other than I felt funny in my brains, I popped in Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? and played two cases in a row. Why do I do this shit? Well, first of all, it is no secret that I love small, short games. I even wrote a treatise to that effect, entitled, appropriately, "Gimme them smalls." And second of all, I am human garbage.

    Anyway, as though the title of this article is not enough, let me tell you why I am Getting Behind Liberation Maiden, and I do not mean literally, because that is filthy. Here's your first hint: it's smalls, and it was gimmed to me. Here's your second hint: I am human garbage, Ha ha ha! No but actually the game is awesome, straight talk. I will tell you why you should buy it, even though there is nothing in it for me at all.

    Inline Image

    The first thing that really got me grinnin' is the completely absurd yet totally awesome premise: your father, the president of "New Japan," has been assassinated by invaders, and so it is totally natural that you as his hot-blooded 18-year-old daughter with skintight plug-suit looking thing ascend to office, and decide that instead of playing it cool politically and trying to negotiate, you're going to hop aboard your experimental LIBERATOR MECH named Kamui, and just go totally fuck up all the bases these invaders have set up in Japan. Your advisers all call you Madame President, and you are like "aw yeah."
  • Code of Princess doesn't have much to do with boobs

    Written by ,
    Despite the overtly slutty attire of the cover-adorning main character Solange, Code of Princess for the 3DS actually doesn't seem to have much to do with those perfectly spherical chest potatoes. What we actually have here is a seemingly-competent beater from Agatsuma Games, who you may (not) know for making almost a dozen Japanese Anpanman games and this.

    Inline Image

    I went back and forth on getting it for a while, cause it's annoying to import Japanese games translated to English and released in America from America back to Japan so I can play them on my American 3DS. And I have to admit I've only put in about an hour on it after receiving it tonight. But it's still kind of capturing my attention.
  • I sure would like more StreetPass stuff

    Written by ,
    I tried to space it out as long as I could, but last week I finally got the last hat in StreetPass Mii Plaza. I finish new puzzles no more than a week after they come out. I have reached the maximum limit for "fantastic" ratings (yes, there is a limit for some reason, it is 100). I have 300 play coins waiting, and have gotten all but a handful of accomplishments.

    This despite the seeming impossibility of it all back when the Find Mii II update first dropped.

    Inline Image

    What is left for me, as an exhausted StreetPasser? Right now, not much. Half the fun of carrying my 3DS around with me all the time is to get those Mii Plaza tags! Which is why I really hope Nintendo has something more tucked up their sleeves ready to go real soon. The bungy part of all this is that it's not the first time this has happened to me! Back in October last year, before the Mario Kart drop that would signal the arrival of actual games for the system, I ran into the same exhaustion of StreetPass Mii Plaza goodies, rendering my 3DS so uninteresting I didn't carry it for almost two months.

    Anyway, I am sure more is on the way, but what? It is fun to speculate.
  • THE "DENPA" MEN: They Came By Wave on the 3DS eShop looks to be a bizarre, EarthBound-ian RPG

    Written by ,
    I don't usually do this, I really don't. I hate stories on the Internet that make me watch videos, cause I am often at work, or on my phone, or whatever, goddammit I do not want to watch the video. But just this one time, I promise, would you watch this video before we do this? I wanna talk to you about it a little bit. So, I mean, if you could spare a minute and a half, just click it up. You don't even need sound if you don't have it I guess, but maybe put the sound. So, okay.


    What the hell, right? Who are these people in the suits, grinning like idiots? Being trapped in nets? Look at the title! THE "DENPA" MEN: They Came By Wave! It reminds me of some crazy old series of trading cards from the 60s re-envisioned as a movie in the 90s. I love it. Even the first part is in caps! Not The Denpa Men, but THE "DENPA" MEN, even goddamned DENPA is in quotes, and that subtitle! They came by wave, a foreboding, horrible thought! They fucking rode the waves, into this house!! Gettin' their Denpa slime all over my walls and floor. You know what I thought of immediately after seeing this video for the first time? EarthBound.
  • I am enjoying the vast array of addictive sports games available on the Nintendo 3DS game system, oh wait no

    Written by ,
    Hey, do you remember that time a while ago when I was talking about Tetris, and whether a copy of Tetris is worth more or less now than it ever was, and if the value is connected to how much fun it is, and all that stuff? You know what other kinds of games that all of us used to play the crap out of that nobody really gives their due anymore? Arcade-style sports games. Which is just a term that we use to mean "the kind of sports games that game companies used to make, before they all switched to making sports games that are not actually any fun."

    Inline Image

    Two eShop golf games, Mario Tennis, a couple Pro Evo soccer games, an atrocious non-series Madden crapjob, and Mario Tennis. That's it for sports on the 3DS, seriously? I cannot be the only one who still pines for the good old days of accessible and addictive sports titles. Japan's a little bit better, they've got a couple Pro Yakyuu baseball games, the totally awesome-looking Pocket Soccer League: Calciobit, even an Arc System Works baseball game up on the eShop. But I mean, where the hell are the basketball games? Where is American football? Baseball games in the states? Ice Hockey for christsake? Think back to the great arcade sports games of the past. Hey, they didn't just "suddenly get bad" over time, they're still excellent gaming foundations. Stuff like Blades of Steel, Hit the Ice, NBA Jam, the Sports Talk Baseball games on Genesis, the beautiful Tecmo Super Bowl and even slightly more complex stuff like the main series Joe Montana Football games or even NHL '96 or something. Where the hell are these kinds of games? I think I know where they are.
  • Your 3DS is one giant social game and you didn't even notice

    Written by ,
    My gal Jessica and I were on our way to Osaka to get a delicious American-style burrito at the only burrito joint I've ever been willing to make the thirty minute train ride for, and through a circuitous twist of fate we found ourselves surrounded on either side of the bench by a couple friends that we met along the way. The recent release of the 3DS XL made some new owners out of us—I passed down my original 3DS to Jessy and replaced it with a blue XL, while my friend bought his first 3DS due to the increased battery and bigger screens of the XL (the other friend already had a red original 3DS, purchased specifically for Mario Kart 7, still the only game she owns). It left me considering my role in a particularly unique scenario, previously only experienced during my trips to E3 or other game conventions, in which all four of us were equipped with portable game systems capable of allowing us some multiplayer action "in the wild." And what's more, they were already conveniently on our persons despite us having somewhat randomly met after work. We wasted no time in getting down to a little probably-nerdy-looking-four-persons-in-a-row-on-the-train-seat wireless Mario Kart 7 while en route.

    Inline Image

    The genius part of all that is like I said, we all happened to have our 3DSes on us. Prior to the 3DS era, I had occasionally made plans ahead of time with another person to bring our original DS systems with us for a trip, explicitly for playing some Kart, but that was the exception rather than the rule, as we couldn't always be relied on to carry them. But StreetPass—and the inclusion of the StreetPass Mii Plaza (and its associated activities)—has added a reason for most owners to keep the things on their persons, I think, which made this situation not only possible, but almost a resignation: of course we have our 3DSes with us, it would be weirder to have left them at home, gobbling up no tags, the ironically not-rolling-stones gathering no moss. It's a genius move by Nintendo, really, and I'm convinced there's no way it was accidental.
  • The Kirby's 20th Anniversary 3DS StreetPass puzzle is all kinds of glorious retro spritework and pizazz

    Written by ,
    Living in Japan has its drawbacks. In the age of total region-lock, I'm forced to turn to costly American 3DS cartridge imports, overpay on shipping, and wait forever for my games to arrive. I'm stuck paying exorbitant Japanese prices for PS3 games, the oh-so-beautiful Ghibli Blu-rays, and pizza (also the pizza has mayonnaise on it). And I also live in a little box the size of a deck of playing cards.

    Inline Image

    But there are benefits too! One of them is I can eat sushi all the time, just completely stuff my head with it. The second and final benefit is that I get a lot of StreetPass tags! That means that whenever a new StreetPass puzzle comes out, I usually have it finished up within a week or so. Imagine my delight when Nintendo recently released their new Kirby's 20th Anniversary puzzle in the Mii Plaza! I always love looking at the little dioramas once they're finished, though for the most part they're never anything that amazing—usually just a slightly animated version of the puzzle picture itself, but in THREE DIMENSIONS. That's why I was so pleased with the new Kirby puzzle, which I just finished today. It's totally great and awesomecool! I think it is the best of all the puzzles so far. In fact, I was so pleased with it that I might have even recorded it and put it on YouTube! So for those of you who will never collect all the pinks and can't bear not seeing it before the 4DS comes out, come along with me on this journey...
  • My Stouffer's 3DS XL Pizza Edition is too big for my pocket

    Written by ,
    I am obsessing about this 3DS XL. With every passing day it becomes more desirable, despite my initial critiques. But the breaking point is going to be pocketability. I don't always carry a bag, so whenever I walk someplace without one, I put that 3DS in my pocket. Aint no point in even having it if I can't earn those coins, get those StreetPass tags. So I made a 3DS XL in effigy out of a French bread pizza box.

    Inline Image
    As with the normal 3DS, always cook thoroughly before consuming

    It's too big. Yeah, it "fits" in my pocket, but it's ridiculous in there. Sitting down it'd be all crunched up, I had to angle it all weird to even get it in there in the first place (though the pointy box edges contributed, and those won't be on the actual unit)—it was just a mess. Serviceable at best, uncomfortable and awkward at worst. I could do it, but I don't wanna. DON'T WANNA

    Will the real system really be like that, though? The pointy edges certainly contributed to the weirdness. I just don't know!! I really gotta get my hands on the real thing, gotta be able to see how it feels, how the screen looks at my usual handheld-playing distance, how it fits in dem pockets. It's the first Nintendo hardware I've ever considered purchasing that I'm not happy to shell-out for sight-unseen. Maybe this is how normal people feel every day.