I know, I know, you're all playing Super Mario 3D Land. (Actually, I am too.) But Nintendo tossed out a little something-something last Thursday that was pretty interesting, and I am writing at you here today to explain it to you so maybe when you're done stomping turtles and slashing at things you might see if it's up your alley.

What exactly is Freakyforms? Is it an art tool? A platformer? A virtually endless source of Animal Crossing-esque silly quests? Another in-vain attempt at making people like AR for more than five minutes? Something else I will never be able to StreetPass throughout the godforsaken midwestern metropolis in which I live? A Colorforms trademark lawsuit in the making? Surprise! It's actually all of these (except maybe possibly the last one), and more! But not much more.

Some people like to hunt through flea markets for old video games to play on their failing NES systems. Others make weekly trips to the Goodwill and rifle through boxes of Corningware and AC/DC cassette tape singles while praying for a copy of Sewer Shark for their Sega CD. I, however, a man of vast means and limitless unenthusiasm, prefer to let the tiny hands of the wage-earners do the work for me.


Yes, in an effort to recapture the fond childhood excitement of receiving things in the mail, I occasionally subject myself to the trembling anticipation brought on by Japan's one and only Super Potato Famicom grab bag. 1,580 yen and a meager shipping fee ensures a small, human-like monkey will haphazardly fill a box with ten randomly selected Famicom cartridges (no boxes, no manuals, no doubles, no guarantees except that they work), which will be painstakingly hauled across this nation's highways and delivered to my door by a subservient member of the Kuroneko delivery service, at which point I can extract every last bit of value from these useless hunks of polymer. Got a hankerin' for pictures of chemical meat? Wanna take a peek into the glorious history of the Japanese NES? Read on, sweet word sponges!

The news has been very slow to get out that I am pretty much retired from gaming writing these days. Perhaps it should come as no surprise then that I received a lovely care package from Namco Bandai's PR agency a handful of weeks ago containing Go Vacation for the Wii as well as an assortment of themed press gifts inside: golf balls, a beach ball, and other vacation-themed stuff.

So I put it in, handed controllers around to the family, and gave it a spin. I'll say it right now—I am not a fan of this game. I hate excessive, slow travel (which this game's much-vaunted "open world" has in spades), and the minigames themselves, while some work out alright, are nothing that could be mistaken for Wii Sports. But my nine-year-old daughter has been magnetized to it. So I told her hey, you review it. And so, being no stranger to the N-Sider review circuit, she did...

A year ago now, the newest entry in the Metroid series, Other M, was in the process of becoming infamous for a few reasons: its departure from traditional series play mechanics, its heavy focus on story, and the direction Samus' character development was taken. As such, Other M has already been written about quite heavily. I've written critiques for every core game in the Metroid series and when Other M came out I was also ready to tear into it. Real life circumstances delayed my own writing, however, and this had some positive benefits. As time passed, my own opinions changed and matured. I hope that, writing now, my views will be much less reactionary than they would have been a year ago. Other M is a game I consider extremely important as an object of reflection. Where it went wrong and why are more valuable to the continual maturing of the video game industry than where it succeeded.



Prior to tackling this article, I had an in-depth discussion with Xantar, an acquaintance of mine and blogger at PVG. This discussion helped me solidify my stance regarding Other M and I'll be addressing quotes from it in this piece.

Some time last week, I cleared the final fight on Atsumete! Kirby, known to less crazy people—those content to wait a month and change for the English localization— as Kirby Mass Attack. You may remember this game and my declaration of adoration if you followed our E3 coverage this year. I've personally been intensely curious about it since our first look at it, a tiny clip of inexplicable DS gameplay featuring drawn lines and a metric buttload of Kirbies.

So impatient was I to get my hands on this, my most-anticipated game this year, that I politely asked the venerable Brandon Daiker if he would be so kind as to snatch the Japanese version, which released in early August, off a shelf over there and send it across the Pacific to me. Come to think of it, I still haven't paid him. [You will pay me in ways you cannot imagine--ed.]

Atsumete! Kirby brings HAL Laboratory's other great DS triumph, Kirby Canvas Curse, immediately to mind, not only because it is also controlled with the stylus, but more importantly because it is a game that explores what the almost-seven-year-old DS platform is good at, creating something that cannot be done anywhere else—and folds it into a stunningly complete package that puts to shame the often pedestrian and uninspired efforts the games market is currently inundated with.

Famed wild beast Donkey Kong is under scrutiny today amidst accusations that he is responsible for a string of intrusive raps that have caused emotional stress to local residents.

Having first begun his rap career in 1999, "DK," as he is sometimes called, has become infamous in quaint Tree Top Town for his often prolonged, and usually public raps.


"We all know DK around here," says local resident Vanessa Dante. "He's usually quite vocal when he's rapping, screaming about how he's big and fast and strong and all that. He's quite a marathon rapper, and everyone's put up with a rap or two from Donkey before. But lately it's just got a little out of hand."